Here's a video of a cute porcupine dancing!
Monday, November 12, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
Someone is Writing
A great funeral is planned for the old king of the world. As he lies upon his bed in the throes of death, he writes his own procession, and his word is carried out. It has been that way throughout his life; his written word was the law, and was more powerful than anything else in the world. Now in the twilight hours of his life, his family weeps; his wife, old and aged like fine wine, sheds silent tears for her beloved, the only man she will ever have loved. After a day of goodbyes, the old king closes his eyes for the final time, knowing that since he has written it, his wishes will be fulfilled to perfection.
Not that any of it matters. The turning of one page just leads to another.
The young man opens his eyes. He takes in a deep breath and smiles. That was a good life, if he says so himself. Slowly he sits up in bed and grabs his notebook from the nightstand. He will need to write quickly if he is going to record everything that has happened in that lifetime. There will be no keepsakes, no treasures, from this life of wealth and luxury. Only memories; and even those fade with time.
After writing down the details of his last life, the man climbs out of bed and stretches. The first movements after waking are always awkward, like a newborn baby taking its first steps. He stumbles over to his writing desk and sits down. No need to take a break. While living as a king, he thought up another life he would love to try. So he jots down the details necessary to start living again. Just the basics, of course: the setting, the history, his birthplace. He decides to jump in at the usual young age of ten, which seems like a good starting point to all his lives. He whips up a beautiful world and, once satisfied, gathers the loose pages and binds them together. He found out long ago the details always work themselves out as the life goes on. He is getting hungry, so he hurries with the binding, and reminds himself to eat a large meal before dying this time. He places the newly bound notebook on his nightstand and lays back down, pulling the sheets over his body, and waits. He waits for sleep to overcome him, and for the first words of the new life to begin.
A lifetime later, he opens his eyes once more. He smiles, even though his last life, that of a poor orphan living on the streets, was not glamorous. It still gave him a new sensation, a new feeling. After writing down the details, he places the notebook on a shelf next to the last one, and sits at his writing desk once more. He picks up his pen and goes to write another life, when suddenly he stops. From the pen come no words. From his mind come no ideas. He sits back and relaxes, hopeful that soon he will think of another life to live.
However no such life comes to the troubled young man. Instead he finds himself thinking of his own little room, with just enough space to hold his bed, writing desk, and all the notebooks full of his various lives. He wonders what will happen once he runs out of shelf space. Will the room just get bigger? He thinks this is the case, but he cannot remember the room ever being smaller. He gets up and strolls over to his window, but when he looks out he sees nothing. No rolling green hills, no furious storm assailing the glass plane. Just the white endless expanse of nothing.
And for the first time in his little room, he is scared.
New fears fill his head. How did he get here? Is he alone? There is no door from this room, so how did this all begin? He remembers the first few dozen times and how amazed he was at this new potential for living countless lives, but he remembers nothing of how it all began. Frantic, he tears down the notebooks, desperately searching for the very first. He finds it, but the first notebook holds true to its nature. It is the first; there is nothing written about what came before. Nothing of his previous life.
How many times has he drifted off to sleep to live again, without ever knowing why he does this? He must have a family, somewhere, but he can recall nothing outside this little room. Even the window only gives him glimpses of settings for him to place his lives. The young man sits on the bed and cradles his head in his hands.
It is only by chance he looks up and sees the corner of a photograph sticking out of a pile of papers. He slowly pulls the picture out and stares at it. In it he is happy, and with him are a group of people surrounding him. All close together and laughing, and the young man realizes this is his family. Not just a family he created, since there are no souvenirs from those lives, but his actual, real family. Somewhere out there, this family is missing him. Somewhere out there is a world he did not create.
And that means somewhere out there, someone else is writing.
Not that any of it matters. The turning of one page just leads to another.
The young man opens his eyes. He takes in a deep breath and smiles. That was a good life, if he says so himself. Slowly he sits up in bed and grabs his notebook from the nightstand. He will need to write quickly if he is going to record everything that has happened in that lifetime. There will be no keepsakes, no treasures, from this life of wealth and luxury. Only memories; and even those fade with time.
After writing down the details of his last life, the man climbs out of bed and stretches. The first movements after waking are always awkward, like a newborn baby taking its first steps. He stumbles over to his writing desk and sits down. No need to take a break. While living as a king, he thought up another life he would love to try. So he jots down the details necessary to start living again. Just the basics, of course: the setting, the history, his birthplace. He decides to jump in at the usual young age of ten, which seems like a good starting point to all his lives. He whips up a beautiful world and, once satisfied, gathers the loose pages and binds them together. He found out long ago the details always work themselves out as the life goes on. He is getting hungry, so he hurries with the binding, and reminds himself to eat a large meal before dying this time. He places the newly bound notebook on his nightstand and lays back down, pulling the sheets over his body, and waits. He waits for sleep to overcome him, and for the first words of the new life to begin.
A lifetime later, he opens his eyes once more. He smiles, even though his last life, that of a poor orphan living on the streets, was not glamorous. It still gave him a new sensation, a new feeling. After writing down the details, he places the notebook on a shelf next to the last one, and sits at his writing desk once more. He picks up his pen and goes to write another life, when suddenly he stops. From the pen come no words. From his mind come no ideas. He sits back and relaxes, hopeful that soon he will think of another life to live.
However no such life comes to the troubled young man. Instead he finds himself thinking of his own little room, with just enough space to hold his bed, writing desk, and all the notebooks full of his various lives. He wonders what will happen once he runs out of shelf space. Will the room just get bigger? He thinks this is the case, but he cannot remember the room ever being smaller. He gets up and strolls over to his window, but when he looks out he sees nothing. No rolling green hills, no furious storm assailing the glass plane. Just the white endless expanse of nothing.
And for the first time in his little room, he is scared.
New fears fill his head. How did he get here? Is he alone? There is no door from this room, so how did this all begin? He remembers the first few dozen times and how amazed he was at this new potential for living countless lives, but he remembers nothing of how it all began. Frantic, he tears down the notebooks, desperately searching for the very first. He finds it, but the first notebook holds true to its nature. It is the first; there is nothing written about what came before. Nothing of his previous life.
How many times has he drifted off to sleep to live again, without ever knowing why he does this? He must have a family, somewhere, but he can recall nothing outside this little room. Even the window only gives him glimpses of settings for him to place his lives. The young man sits on the bed and cradles his head in his hands.
It is only by chance he looks up and sees the corner of a photograph sticking out of a pile of papers. He slowly pulls the picture out and stares at it. In it he is happy, and with him are a group of people surrounding him. All close together and laughing, and the young man realizes this is his family. Not just a family he created, since there are no souvenirs from those lives, but his actual, real family. Somewhere out there, this family is missing him. Somewhere out there is a world he did not create.
And that means somewhere out there, someone else is writing.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
The Fire
I awoke to shouts and screams outside the window of the third floor loft. My feet had hit the floor before my mind could register the fact that it was still dark out. Tayler was sitting up in bed saying something, probably asking what was going on, but I didn’t hear her as I ran out the door and down the two flights of stairs. Someone was running through the living area, taking a shortcut to get to the kitchen quicker no doubt. I ignored them and ran to the front door leading to the main courtyard of the settlement. Before I reached it, I knew what had happened. I flung the door open and my stomach jumped up into my throat. Across the way, one of the apartment complexes was burning.
Before the End, a fire would have caused some alarm, sure. But the people would have heard the fire alarms go off and evacuated the building as quickly as possible. I’m sure one, maybe two would have been stuck in the inferno, but in short time the fireman would have showed up. Decked out in their fireproof outfits, they would have marched into the building and rescued the poor souls trapped inside. Once done, rubber hoses with pressurized nozzles would have been hooked up to a metal fire hydrant, which would have been connected to the town’s water supply. With a flip of a handle, a blast of fire-quenching water would have shot out and began controlling the raging flames. Of course it was hard work; Brandon told me all about it many times. But now? Oh, now I know why the people of the ancient times pictured Hell as a burning, searing place filled with never ending fire. Ever since the End, we all know the destructive power of the flames.
Dozens of people were running back and forth to the river, carrying buckets, pails, cups, anything they could to bring water to the burning building. Dozens more were running to the blaze from the Commons, knowing it was their duty as members of this community to help in an emergency like this. I scanned the chaos, looking for a familiar face in an event like this. Suddenly a strong hand grabbed my arm and spun me around.
“Let’s go!” Brandon yelled into my face, his voice having no trace of the panic everyone else’s did. He was trained for this. I ran after him into the barn, where two people were busy hauling a long rubber hose out from a plastic storage bin. I went to help them, but Brandon motioned for me to come with him to another bin. Three more people ran in to help the others; public safety people I noticed. The group was most likely the new fire brigade that Brandon appointed. I didn’t have time to see exactly who they were, because as soon as Brandon tore off the lid of the bin he pulled me to, my attention was focused. Apparently the public safety department had been busy lately.
The pump must have weighed over a hundred pounds, but we both had enough adrenaline in us that we only needed to pull one man away from the hose duty to help. When we reached the river’s edge, Brandon instructed us to put the contraption down where the water would cover the bottom filters. Once done, the third man began turning a crank on the side of it. As gears turned, the fire brigade finished stretching the hose out, and attached it to the nozzle on the pump. Another helper began turning a second crank, and soon water began flowing through the pump into the hose. It seemed to take forever, but soon there was enough pressure built up in the hose that the lead fireman opened the throttle and let out a chilling stream of water at the base of the fire. A few people stood staring, but this new attack on the blaze gave people a second wind, and they began hurrying to the river for more water.
It took two hours to quell the fire. After the first, I was able to go around and try to figure out what happened. Brandon had already gathered witnesses, and had gotten statements from those who were in the building when the fire started but weren’t too badly hurt to talk. Most had gotten out, but there were eight people over in the hospital now, being treated for burns and smoke inhalation. Seeing Brandon work like this made me smile; awkward at the moment, but it was funny to think the people almost didn’t want him as the department head of public safety. Too young my ass. I finally was able to talk to him myself. And apparently this fire wasn’t an accident.
The next day, a council meeting was held. Brandon, Sherry, Jay, Jon, Alice, and myself were present, along with the three randomly selected members of the community to act as a public voice. I recognized Drew among them, but the other two were only familiar faces. Amazing how large of population we now have, considering what we started with. The meeting was curt; what happened, and what to do. According to eye witnesses, there was a lone figure seen running from the fire right after it started. The figure ran right into the central building, and right past me, something I realized after hearing the story the first time from Brandon. My own feelings about retribution against this person are definitely going to influence my decisions today.
Earlier this morning, a scouting party returned without the arsonist, but with news. A small camp had been made last night outside of our scouting perimeter, and was found cleaned out by the scouting party. The campers left in haste, which was fortunate, because they left behind valuable evidence. Bandits have almost been eradicated from the area, except for a few clans here and there. The evidence is unmistakable. Tracks from last night lead straight to the camp, which was made by Red Dragons, a vicious bandit clan that had a strong hold north of the community.
Our community has evaded war for almost five years. That is not to say we are not prepared, however. I raise the question; it had been my desire to eliminate the bandits before they grew too strong, but had been outvoted. Which was understandable, but now it might be too late. The Red Dragons are powerful, and we will need help. But getting rid of this group is a necessity, now more than ever. As the topic of war is discussed, I see something behind the eyes of everyone in the group. Revenge. We had been so fortunate, many thought us untouchable. Perhaps it isn’t such a good idea to go to war with arrogance and vengeance leading the way. However it is too late. The fire has already begun.
Before the End, a fire would have caused some alarm, sure. But the people would have heard the fire alarms go off and evacuated the building as quickly as possible. I’m sure one, maybe two would have been stuck in the inferno, but in short time the fireman would have showed up. Decked out in their fireproof outfits, they would have marched into the building and rescued the poor souls trapped inside. Once done, rubber hoses with pressurized nozzles would have been hooked up to a metal fire hydrant, which would have been connected to the town’s water supply. With a flip of a handle, a blast of fire-quenching water would have shot out and began controlling the raging flames. Of course it was hard work; Brandon told me all about it many times. But now? Oh, now I know why the people of the ancient times pictured Hell as a burning, searing place filled with never ending fire. Ever since the End, we all know the destructive power of the flames.
Dozens of people were running back and forth to the river, carrying buckets, pails, cups, anything they could to bring water to the burning building. Dozens more were running to the blaze from the Commons, knowing it was their duty as members of this community to help in an emergency like this. I scanned the chaos, looking for a familiar face in an event like this. Suddenly a strong hand grabbed my arm and spun me around.
“Let’s go!” Brandon yelled into my face, his voice having no trace of the panic everyone else’s did. He was trained for this. I ran after him into the barn, where two people were busy hauling a long rubber hose out from a plastic storage bin. I went to help them, but Brandon motioned for me to come with him to another bin. Three more people ran in to help the others; public safety people I noticed. The group was most likely the new fire brigade that Brandon appointed. I didn’t have time to see exactly who they were, because as soon as Brandon tore off the lid of the bin he pulled me to, my attention was focused. Apparently the public safety department had been busy lately.
The pump must have weighed over a hundred pounds, but we both had enough adrenaline in us that we only needed to pull one man away from the hose duty to help. When we reached the river’s edge, Brandon instructed us to put the contraption down where the water would cover the bottom filters. Once done, the third man began turning a crank on the side of it. As gears turned, the fire brigade finished stretching the hose out, and attached it to the nozzle on the pump. Another helper began turning a second crank, and soon water began flowing through the pump into the hose. It seemed to take forever, but soon there was enough pressure built up in the hose that the lead fireman opened the throttle and let out a chilling stream of water at the base of the fire. A few people stood staring, but this new attack on the blaze gave people a second wind, and they began hurrying to the river for more water.
It took two hours to quell the fire. After the first, I was able to go around and try to figure out what happened. Brandon had already gathered witnesses, and had gotten statements from those who were in the building when the fire started but weren’t too badly hurt to talk. Most had gotten out, but there were eight people over in the hospital now, being treated for burns and smoke inhalation. Seeing Brandon work like this made me smile; awkward at the moment, but it was funny to think the people almost didn’t want him as the department head of public safety. Too young my ass. I finally was able to talk to him myself. And apparently this fire wasn’t an accident.
The next day, a council meeting was held. Brandon, Sherry, Jay, Jon, Alice, and myself were present, along with the three randomly selected members of the community to act as a public voice. I recognized Drew among them, but the other two were only familiar faces. Amazing how large of population we now have, considering what we started with. The meeting was curt; what happened, and what to do. According to eye witnesses, there was a lone figure seen running from the fire right after it started. The figure ran right into the central building, and right past me, something I realized after hearing the story the first time from Brandon. My own feelings about retribution against this person are definitely going to influence my decisions today.
Earlier this morning, a scouting party returned without the arsonist, but with news. A small camp had been made last night outside of our scouting perimeter, and was found cleaned out by the scouting party. The campers left in haste, which was fortunate, because they left behind valuable evidence. Bandits have almost been eradicated from the area, except for a few clans here and there. The evidence is unmistakable. Tracks from last night lead straight to the camp, which was made by Red Dragons, a vicious bandit clan that had a strong hold north of the community.
Our community has evaded war for almost five years. That is not to say we are not prepared, however. I raise the question; it had been my desire to eliminate the bandits before they grew too strong, but had been outvoted. Which was understandable, but now it might be too late. The Red Dragons are powerful, and we will need help. But getting rid of this group is a necessity, now more than ever. As the topic of war is discussed, I see something behind the eyes of everyone in the group. Revenge. We had been so fortunate, many thought us untouchable. Perhaps it isn’t such a good idea to go to war with arrogance and vengeance leading the way. However it is too late. The fire has already begun.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
9 Comic Book Characters that Deserve Screen Time
The Avengers have changed everything. It has shown you can take a group of superheroes the majority had never really heard of and turn it into a billion dollar movie franchise. It has shown superheroes are not fading into obscurity, and that it’s not just the comic book geeks who squeal in delight when they see the Hulk go toe to toe with Thor. With the huge success this movie has brought the comic book world, more heroes are destined to see the light of the silver screen. And who should these characters be? Well for starters…
9. Carnage
Potential Movies: Spider-Man 4, The Amazing Spider-Man 3: War of the Symbiotes
Why him?: Every Spider-Man fan knows Carnage. He is right next to Venom on a list of awesome Spider-Man enemies. Not only that, but he is spawned out of Venom, which would make for an awesome team up between Venom and Spider-Man, just like in the comics. Plus, having Carnage in a movie would give Venom a much greater role than just the villain for one movie; it would make him a reoccurring character in the trilogy, something that I’m sure no Spider-fan would be upset about.
Why it won’t happen: In order to have Carnage, you must have Venom (if not, then don’t bother). Which means setting up Venom’s character, and thus having an extra movie. While I’m sure movie goers won’t complain, movie companies might. Putting Carnage in the mix might also prompt the producers to smash both Venom and Carnage in the same movie, and look what happened last time they put a lot of villains into one movie.
8. Namor
Potential Movies: Namor the Submariner, Fantastic Four 3
Why him?: Namor has been around for awhile, fighting along Captain America in WWII, then fighting against the Fantastic Four, then teaming up, then back to being a villain, and so forth. He’s not a very deep character, but he’s arrogant, rude, and thinks himself better than everyone else, with him being the prince of Atlantis and all. Hmm…those qualities sound just like another character who has become crazy popular lately (cough Iron Man cough cough). You could even have him as the villain for a Fantastic Four movie, although I suggest rebooting the franchise because the last ones were a little…off, to put it nicely.
Why it won’t happen: Because it would most likely require the Fantastic Four, and I’m pretty sure that team is buried for the time being. Now, if Marvel could require the rights from Fox, then I would say it’s more probable. But as of now, the half naked fish prince will have to wait.
7. Apocalypse
Potential Movies: X-Men 4
Why him?: He’s one of the biggest, strongest, and most awesome enemies the X-Men have ever faced. He’s turned fellow X-Men against their teammates and loved ones, and has put the team on the ropes many times. Having him as a villain would require a multi-movie build up, but it would be one hell of a show if they could pull it off correctly.
Why it won’t happen: It would require a multi-movie build up, which they had, but ruined with the X-Men 3. Now we will have to wait to see if X-Men First Class builds enough movies and back-story to write him in. Chances are it won’t, and the First Mutant will never see his face on the big screen.
6. Deadpool
Potential Movies: Deadpool
Why him?: Well before anyone flies off to the comments saying he was in Wolverine Origins, let me state I mean the actual Deadpool character, not some cheap, mashed together rip-off who doesn’t do the original any justice. Deadpool is a mercenary who makes more jokes in one comic issue than all 3 Spider-Man movies combined. He’s funny, crude, kills things with swords, guns, explosives, and has a healing factor even better than Wolverine’s. If that doesn’t sound like a Michael Bay summer blockbuster, than I don’t know what is.
Why it won’t happen: All because they “already had him as a character.” They screwed up their chance, and now we will never see a Deadpool movie. Thanks Hollywood!
5. Teen Titans
Potential Movies: Teen Titans
Why them?: Raise your hand if you remember the Teen Titans cartoon on Cartoon Network. Chances are most of you have watched it at least once. Even greater chances are more of you have at least heard of them. Robin, Starfire, Raven, Cyborg, Beast Boy; they were hilarious to watch because as teenagers, the viewers could connect with them more than they could with Superman or Batman. They had social issues along with super villains, and it was a blast to see it all play out. Making a whole movie out of it would be funny and awesome; just look at other superheroes movies with teenage heroes (Kick-Ass, Chronicle, X-Men First Class, etc.).
Why it won’t happen: Too many characters, too many backgrounds. The reason those other teenage movies worked it because the character’s backgrounds could all be summed up in little sequences. Not so with the Teen Titans, who all come from various backgrounds for various reasons. Plus it's hard enough to get a Justice League movie off the ground, let alone a teenage version of it.
4. Sentinels
Potential Movies: Any of the X-Men movies
Why them?: Sentinels are mutant hunting robots that have plagued the X-Men throughout their comic book history. Yet out of five different X-Men movies, all we got was one fake giant Sentinel in a Danger Room session. And from that, we only saw its head. I believe such a terrifying, dangerous, and persistent foe of such a popular team should get a little more recognition. Maybe not a whole movie based off them, but at least something more than a detached head.
Why it won’t happen: Like I said, you couldn’t have the Sentinels as the main enemy, not unless you include someone like Bastion, and nobody knows who he is. When making an X-Men movie, there are so many villains to choose from producers always go with the popular ones, because that’s what draws the crowds. Having Bastion as the villain would most likely require too much explanation than the movie could give without killing itself with details. You could have a regular evil scientist as the main villain, but that's no fun. Plus, the Sentinels are usually portrayed as giant robots, and although it would be awesome to watch, it is stretching the imagination to picture the movie version of Rogue going up against a 50 story robot of death.
3. Flash
Potential Movies: Flash, Justice League
Why him?: It’s the Flash. He’s just about the only popular character that has super speed, and I would be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t ever heard of him. Plus, there hasn’t really been a superhero with super speed in a movie yet (at least not one in live-action), so there shouldn’t be any reason not to make a movie for him.
Why it won’t happen: Without a Justice League movie, it doesn’t look like he’ll be running across the screen anytime soon. There’s a reason there are tons of characters that can punch through walls, but very few that can rebuild the wall just as fast. Super speed is an insanely overpowered ability, because who can stop you if you can break their necks in the blink of an eye? In order to make a Flash movie, his powers would need to be weakened, or at least limited, and where’s the fun in that? Plus, what villain could he possibly face? Gorilla Grodd? How much of a fight would it be between Flash and a talking monkey?
2. Doctor Strange
Potential Movies: Dr. Strange, Avengers 2
Why him?: Dr. Strange is the most powerful sorcerer in the marvel universe (or was, but that’s a long story, so let’s ignore it). He’s about the only major character who could have a relatable, understandable, and fun movie that hasn’t gotten one. An artifact of his has even been shown in the Thor movie in Odin’s chamber. Why he hasn’t gotten a movie yet is a mystery to me.
Why it won’t happen: Actually not really. First, not many people who don’t read comics have heard of him, so the draw from the major population won’t be as great. Second, he works in magic. In the Marvel cinematic universe, magic doesn’t exist. Anything magical is just a higher form of technology that humans don’t understand. But Dr. Strange does some clearly magical things, and trying to explain all that away with technological reasons would require a trilogy in itself. This is one character that won’t see the big screen anytime soon just because his powers, even for a movie, are just too unbelievable.
1. Wonder Woman
Potential Movies: Wonder Woman, Justice League
Why her?: She’s strong, sexy, and a woman. How many superhero movies out there have a powerful female as the lead character? None, that’s how many (screw you Elektra, you don’t count). I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t go see Wonder Woman kick some ass in a movie. Who cares if I can’t recall any of her villains? I’m sure there is someone she can knock through a wall. Who cares if in the original comics she was the Justice League’s secretary? Who cares if her costume was based off a dominatrix outfit? Use her back-story as a warrior princess, scratch the invisible plane, and you got yourself a female Conan the Barbarian goes to New York (or Metropolis, or whatever). That would make a killing!
Why it won’t happen: Maybe because Conan the Barbarian didn’t do so good at the box office. Or maybe because the rulers of the movie enterprise aren’t ready for a famous Super Heroine to grace the silver screen. Whatever the excuse, there is no reason this shouldn’t happen, and soon. Get on it Hollywood; the world is waiting for our Wonder Woman.
9. Carnage
Why him?: Every Spider-Man fan knows Carnage. He is right next to Venom on a list of awesome Spider-Man enemies. Not only that, but he is spawned out of Venom, which would make for an awesome team up between Venom and Spider-Man, just like in the comics. Plus, having Carnage in a movie would give Venom a much greater role than just the villain for one movie; it would make him a reoccurring character in the trilogy, something that I’m sure no Spider-fan would be upset about.
Why it won’t happen: In order to have Carnage, you must have Venom (if not, then don’t bother). Which means setting up Venom’s character, and thus having an extra movie. While I’m sure movie goers won’t complain, movie companies might. Putting Carnage in the mix might also prompt the producers to smash both Venom and Carnage in the same movie, and look what happened last time they put a lot of villains into one movie.
8. Namor
Why him?: Namor has been around for awhile, fighting along Captain America in WWII, then fighting against the Fantastic Four, then teaming up, then back to being a villain, and so forth. He’s not a very deep character, but he’s arrogant, rude, and thinks himself better than everyone else, with him being the prince of Atlantis and all. Hmm…those qualities sound just like another character who has become crazy popular lately (cough Iron Man cough cough). You could even have him as the villain for a Fantastic Four movie, although I suggest rebooting the franchise because the last ones were a little…off, to put it nicely.
Why it won’t happen: Because it would most likely require the Fantastic Four, and I’m pretty sure that team is buried for the time being. Now, if Marvel could require the rights from Fox, then I would say it’s more probable. But as of now, the half naked fish prince will have to wait.
7. Apocalypse
Why him?: He’s one of the biggest, strongest, and most awesome enemies the X-Men have ever faced. He’s turned fellow X-Men against their teammates and loved ones, and has put the team on the ropes many times. Having him as a villain would require a multi-movie build up, but it would be one hell of a show if they could pull it off correctly.
Why it won’t happen: It would require a multi-movie build up, which they had, but ruined with the X-Men 3. Now we will have to wait to see if X-Men First Class builds enough movies and back-story to write him in. Chances are it won’t, and the First Mutant will never see his face on the big screen.
6. Deadpool
Why him?: Well before anyone flies off to the comments saying he was in Wolverine Origins, let me state I mean the actual Deadpool character, not some cheap, mashed together rip-off who doesn’t do the original any justice. Deadpool is a mercenary who makes more jokes in one comic issue than all 3 Spider-Man movies combined. He’s funny, crude, kills things with swords, guns, explosives, and has a healing factor even better than Wolverine’s. If that doesn’t sound like a Michael Bay summer blockbuster, than I don’t know what is.
Why it won’t happen: All because they “already had him as a character.” They screwed up their chance, and now we will never see a Deadpool movie. Thanks Hollywood!
5. Teen Titans
Why them?: Raise your hand if you remember the Teen Titans cartoon on Cartoon Network. Chances are most of you have watched it at least once. Even greater chances are more of you have at least heard of them. Robin, Starfire, Raven, Cyborg, Beast Boy; they were hilarious to watch because as teenagers, the viewers could connect with them more than they could with Superman or Batman. They had social issues along with super villains, and it was a blast to see it all play out. Making a whole movie out of it would be funny and awesome; just look at other superheroes movies with teenage heroes (Kick-Ass, Chronicle, X-Men First Class, etc.).
Why it won’t happen: Too many characters, too many backgrounds. The reason those other teenage movies worked it because the character’s backgrounds could all be summed up in little sequences. Not so with the Teen Titans, who all come from various backgrounds for various reasons. Plus it's hard enough to get a Justice League movie off the ground, let alone a teenage version of it.
4. Sentinels
Why them?: Sentinels are mutant hunting robots that have plagued the X-Men throughout their comic book history. Yet out of five different X-Men movies, all we got was one fake giant Sentinel in a Danger Room session. And from that, we only saw its head. I believe such a terrifying, dangerous, and persistent foe of such a popular team should get a little more recognition. Maybe not a whole movie based off them, but at least something more than a detached head.
Why it won’t happen: Like I said, you couldn’t have the Sentinels as the main enemy, not unless you include someone like Bastion, and nobody knows who he is. When making an X-Men movie, there are so many villains to choose from producers always go with the popular ones, because that’s what draws the crowds. Having Bastion as the villain would most likely require too much explanation than the movie could give without killing itself with details. You could have a regular evil scientist as the main villain, but that's no fun. Plus, the Sentinels are usually portrayed as giant robots, and although it would be awesome to watch, it is stretching the imagination to picture the movie version of Rogue going up against a 50 story robot of death.
3. Flash
Why him?: It’s the Flash. He’s just about the only popular character that has super speed, and I would be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t ever heard of him. Plus, there hasn’t really been a superhero with super speed in a movie yet (at least not one in live-action), so there shouldn’t be any reason not to make a movie for him.
Why it won’t happen: Without a Justice League movie, it doesn’t look like he’ll be running across the screen anytime soon. There’s a reason there are tons of characters that can punch through walls, but very few that can rebuild the wall just as fast. Super speed is an insanely overpowered ability, because who can stop you if you can break their necks in the blink of an eye? In order to make a Flash movie, his powers would need to be weakened, or at least limited, and where’s the fun in that? Plus, what villain could he possibly face? Gorilla Grodd? How much of a fight would it be between Flash and a talking monkey?
2. Doctor Strange
Why him?: Dr. Strange is the most powerful sorcerer in the marvel universe (or was, but that’s a long story, so let’s ignore it). He’s about the only major character who could have a relatable, understandable, and fun movie that hasn’t gotten one. An artifact of his has even been shown in the Thor movie in Odin’s chamber. Why he hasn’t gotten a movie yet is a mystery to me.
Why it won’t happen: Actually not really. First, not many people who don’t read comics have heard of him, so the draw from the major population won’t be as great. Second, he works in magic. In the Marvel cinematic universe, magic doesn’t exist. Anything magical is just a higher form of technology that humans don’t understand. But Dr. Strange does some clearly magical things, and trying to explain all that away with technological reasons would require a trilogy in itself. This is one character that won’t see the big screen anytime soon just because his powers, even for a movie, are just too unbelievable.
1. Wonder Woman
Why her?: She’s strong, sexy, and a woman. How many superhero movies out there have a powerful female as the lead character? None, that’s how many (screw you Elektra, you don’t count). I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t go see Wonder Woman kick some ass in a movie. Who cares if I can’t recall any of her villains? I’m sure there is someone she can knock through a wall. Who cares if in the original comics she was the Justice League’s secretary? Who cares if her costume was based off a dominatrix outfit? Use her back-story as a warrior princess, scratch the invisible plane, and you got yourself a female Conan the Barbarian goes to New York (or Metropolis, or whatever). That would make a killing!
Why it won’t happen: Maybe because Conan the Barbarian didn’t do so good at the box office. Or maybe because the rulers of the movie enterprise aren’t ready for a famous Super Heroine to grace the silver screen. Whatever the excuse, there is no reason this shouldn’t happen, and soon. Get on it Hollywood; the world is waiting for our Wonder Woman.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
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